Inspired by K.L.
She was the book on the top shelf that I couldn’t reach until I grew up.
Her chapters were a mystery and they were filled with untold truths.
I imagined how her binding would feel
And what her words would sound like.
All I could see was her cover and that’s all I needed to fall in love with her story.
She was Sunday morning breakfast on the porch with the kids.
She was long talks about life and the things that we did.
The very essence of her soul could be seen from the way she would smile.
And it took a while.
It took a while for me to understand
that maybe this wasn’t in God’s plan.
Maybe her story isn’t meant to be taken down from that shelf.
And only exists for you to imagine how she felt.
To imagine what she would be like.
Because in this library of false hopes and untold stories,
There are many people who want to read the books that they cannot reach.
Because those are usually the best ones.
Let’s stay here for a while.
In this place where your smile is all I can see
And everything I want to be
Can be manifested within you.
It’s true. My haikus
have been wrapped around the idea
Of turning blue
From not being able to breathe without you.
And hearing your laugh is like coming up for fresh air.
Fair warning to the souls that cross her path
For she is everything anyone could ever want to have.
And I ask myself, “is it worth it?”
To live in this circus
Where I’m jumping through hoops of fire
Trying not to get burned by the thing I desire
I mean, us.
This road is never ending.
Winding ridges with each turn bending
More than the last.
Rushing to pass
others in order to reach a destination that doesn’t even exist.
Trying to speed and twist
this one way into a two way street.
Maybe I’m too close to the edge ,
but I don’t want to hit curbs.
It’s my anxiety and these damn nerves
tethered around my words and these jammed verbs.
There’s too much food on my plate
And I can’t think straight.
This Writer’s block is keeping me up late
To the point where I can’t even frustrate
God and pray for a new tray.
There’s been too many times I’ve asked for a new slate.
He’s probably looking down on me screaming
“It’s too late”
But Fate and that reality check
haven’t hit direct deposit yet
So my funds are running low.
No money to throw
In the collection bin
As I head to church to wash away my sins
From the weekend on College Ave.
I was her umbrella in the rain
But as soon as the sun came
She switched into a new lane
Leaving me to find a new Dame
And I don’t understand how the truth came
so late in this equation.
I was blazing off of her mental
Getting too high from her thoughts
And got caught in the hot box.
But there’s no damn detox
Clear out a system full of this bullshit.
Sometimes I think I overreact,
But the fact
That I put aside my usual acts
To see if she’s really feeling me, for me
Has my mental in shambles.
Because I gambled on her
When I should have invested in myself.
And it’s felt
With every “what if” that I place on that shelf.
If I remove her from that pedestal that I placed her on
Will it all end?
Will she still be everything I need and want
Or will she just be another
By Tevin J. Reese