Reality always hits the hardest when I’m on an uphill climb.
I cannot wear my heart on my sleeve with all of the things that I’ve seen.
So I roll mine up
and never stay stuck
on one person.
Hopping in and out of swimming pools of love
Trying not to stay long enough to get wrinkles in my skin.
Feelings frozen at the brim
of my antennas,
So I never give women signals.
No signs of attachment
Seeping from my pores.
Only long hallways with closed doors.
Leading her to a destination that does not exist.
her words and mine
To fit a world that’s only alive in her mind.
Something that she believes will change me.
But I am the man I was meant to be,
And in this moment the temporary fallacies
That are tempting me
Force my hands to hold things that have no real value.
No real soul.
I am love-fearing,
Straight from the depths where gold
covers fake chains
don’t mean much.
Where your word is not your bond
And people grow fond
of material things.
Something I have lost.
It is hidden somewhere between my rib cage and my spine.
Trying to find
it has been my hardest task.
I ask God for answers.
Only to have him teach me things that make me bask
In a pile of my own regrets.
Mine often feels like I am constantly drowning in a whirlpool of bad luck.
If you look into my eyes you will see
The chances I never took,
And the ones that I shouldn’t have.
Check my smile.
It is bright and real only to those who believe in fairy tales.
This is an autobiography.
No false stories or happy endings.
Just chapters filled with short stanzas of happiness
And run-on sentences of misery.
By Tevin J. Reese