Merged (Ego)

You have a new ‘him,’

and I have a new ‘her,’

but it is not the same because they are not US.

We were unique.

From the way your head would rest on my chest

as you listened to the rhythm of each breath I took,

To the protection I provided from those demons you faced.

As if my arms were heaven sent I’d wrap them around your warm body

as you trembled in fear at night.

We met on cold terms.

Two pain-driven spirits with

hearts of ice.

But I gave you the key.

The key to open the lock that bound the chains around my soul.

I watched as the chains fell to my feet

and our hearts collided at dangerous speeds.

No recovery was necessary.

The need to push away faded and I no longer felt cold.

Bold? Absolutely.

The ideal lives you and I had for ourselves had somehow merged into one.

You and I, became WE.

We laughed.

…..We kissed.

….We sang.

…We fought.

..We learned.

We grew.

But most of all, we LOVED.

The warmth felt great,

but that cold feeling came rushing back.

It’s as though you think I’m happy.

You are on the other side of the door and I can’t reach the knob.

As I try to gain access to you I fail and fail again but

My ego won’t let me quit.

You know it’s not all smiles.

I know what tear drops taste like

And ironically,

That has left me with a thirst.

Still,

Not the kind to be quenched by your superficial ideas

of what the physical needs of Men are.

I visualize the way you’d lather your skin in makeup,

Constantly pulling down your dress as you

Try to look ‘Victoria’s Secret fine’

But not fine enough to be mistaken for anything less than a Woman.

I noticed that these things are a constant in my life.

I yearn for that heart to heart collision again.

We were unique and

Sadly,

I know that WE, will never be US,

again.

 

                                 By Tevin J. Reese

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