Maybe I’m to blame,
For trying to play checkers in a chess game
In this process I’ve learned that Acceptance is key.
And that if you had only witnessed the former me,
before I became a man,
you would understand
that trying to change a person before they are ready
will never go as planned.
It’s like trying to walk while your shoes are tied together in a band.
As one steps forward, the other holds it back.
Keeping both of them from moving or staying on track.
I know You don’t want to have to jump hurdles as you run laps
On an obstacle course of a relationship.
Just please love, stop basing shit
that WE go through on a past circumstance.
It’s as if
I’m in the confinement of an interrogation room,
Where all of the questions of who I am are being asked
as your soul watches me through this one way glass.
You don’t think I see,
but I’m watching you while your feelings are watching me.
Each emotion is piercing through my veins
as your eyes strain
to convey an image that portrays me as “different” than the last guy.
You don’t want to give me your all in fear that it won’t be enough,
So you put up a rock hard exterior in hopes that I have the perfect tools
in order to break down this wall.
You can throw away that tall
list of insecurities that are etched into your reflection
every time you peek into the mirror.
Let me make things clearer,
I will run my fingers through your hair so I can feel where your roots started.
I understand that your time is priceless too.
So don’t worry about the money you’ve wasted on other men
since they didn’t properly invest in you.
My love is free.
And it’d be a shame
If you made every decision I make a costly one,
Because You will find out that I don’t have enough money to my name.
Understand that the body isn’t meant
to be deprived of what it yearns for the most.
So this is my final toast.
The woman whose hands are made of wine as she allows me to get drunk off of her every touch.
Even if it’s not much,
I pray you are capable of loving someone who is as dependable as the sunrise.
And that no matter how big of a shadow your past horizons may cast,
You can accept yourself with open arms, and not have to ask
If what is right in front of you,
is real or not.
I know you are the right woman,
But if this is the wrong time and place,
I hope that I am not the only man who has his breathe stolen from him every time he sees your face.
It’s ironic that Love is now our new oxygen.
Without it we cannot live.
Without you, I am constantly gasping for love and if my lungs collapse,
I don’t want to be revived by anyone
that won’t keep my face from turning blue again.
By Tevin J. Reese