Dear Future You,
We never really had a chance to last
because we met at the wrong time.
that’s what you would say back then.
You wanted me to find another girl that wouldn’t hurt me like you would.
You were so broken that if I tried to put your pieces back together,
my hands would bleed until I couldn’t take the pain anymore.
You didn’t understand that I never saw your flaws
as emotional scabs for me to pick at.
But more as authentic pieces of art that were to be appreciated
because not many people get a chance to see them.
Your mind changed so often that you were afraid to fall asleep
in the bed of a relationship
in fear that you’d wake up wishing
that you never closed your eyes in the first place.
The foot race
we had with one another never had a clear winner.
My side of the track kept getting thinner
as I realized we weren’t running towards the same finish line.
So as I lagged behind
I decided that I wasn’t going to chase after someone
who didn’t even want me in the same race as them.
Later down the line
you’ll realize that if you had just put in the time
you would be happy.
Instead you’re stuck in a state of loneliness
and the one person that could fill the cracks in your soul
is jogging freely down the road
with someone who doesn’t make them compete for their attention.
I wish you’d stop paying just enough of yours
in order to keep me around
Without wanting to plant yourself into solid ground
Where we could stand stable together.
Opening up to someone means more than becoming vulnerable to pain,
It allows you to obtain
things from them that you cannot provide for yourself.
And please love,
Never say that you aren’t good enough again.
Because even though you hide 99 percent of who you are,
The one percent you show is so perfect
that it keeps people coming back for more.
Don’t be so sure
that the mask you wear daily isn’t scarier
than what you try so hard to hide underneath it all.
The purpose of this letter isn’t to tell you that I know you’ve been hurt,
It’s to show that even though you’ve pushed me away all this time,
I’d still do anything to be your everything.
If you’d just slow down,
And take a deep breath before jumping ship this time,
Remember to put your life vest on
and I promise the impact of the bitter ocean you’re so used to
won’t kill you.
It will be different.
Not in the way that every guy before me has promised you,
You out to think about giving someone a piece of yourself
that they may one day walk away with,
Because it’s happened before.
I’ve been there too.
The beauty of it is that if you had let me get close enough to you,
you’d see that the pieces we’re missing have only
shaped our puzzles so that we can fit with one another and be complete again.
PS: By the time you read this, it may be too late.
By Tevin J. Reese